The world's full of tossers

I decided that it was finally time to upgrade my computer's operating system from Windows 98 (first edition). I was seriously toying with Linux, but it looked too complicated to me, and I'm not certain about the compatibility of my software with it, so I put a few more pennies into Bill Gates' pockets instead. So, off to the computer store we went - Liam happily because he had been suitably bribed with the promise of Sims 2. I resisted the temptation to splash out on a new PC, remembering that I had bought a laptop less than a month ago, and to buy yet another computer would be a bit OTT (and how would I justify it to the taxman?). So, I limited my purchase to Windows XP upgrade, Sims 2 and a set of rechargable AA batteries. On the way home, Liam and I were crossing a road in the retail park. We were on a marked crossing, but I saw this car going round the roundabout too fast as it headed straight for us. I just knew he wasn't about to stop, despite us being on the zebra crossing. He didn't, and as he passed in front of us I yelled at him. He screeched to a halt about 20 metres away, stalling his engine in the process. Then he slammed into reverse and headed back towards us yelling obscenities as he did so. I don't know, but I think that he expected me to be scared and run away, but I wasn't and I didn't. I calmly explained to him that too much love with his right hand could be the reason that he didn't see the zebra crossing and the people on it. I advised him that he ought to stop doing it, or risk going completely blind. I also suggested, helpfully I thought, that he might consider getting the large appendage sticking out of his forehead surgically removed. He tried to drive off at speed, but only managed to stall again. Liam and I walked away and left him to it. W*nker.


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