Just a little trim

The countdown continues until PaD365. However, today I thought that I would spare you the sight of my flabby body (you can really tell that I think hard about working out, can't you). My sedentary lifestyle has always been a bit of a worry to me. Back when I worked for BT, at least I got out on survey once a month - and that usually involved long, long, long walks (e.g. Annan to Dumfries and back; Peebles to Beattock and back; Stranraer to Port Patrick and back, etc.). These were good times - although I don't think I would like to go back to not being my own boss... I am a bit overfond of my month long holidays during the summer, and my regular jaunts to Portugal for that - although at this moment in time I wouldn't say no to a bit of Statutory Sick Pay. Anyways, I can't really complain too much.

So, back to the point of this missive. My flaccid non-muscular frame and my demonstration of how nice a person I really am (I really am!). I will not subject it to you again (or should that be you to it?). Mind you, isn't it ironic that the pictures of me wearing very little other than a wig (in the case of yesterday's picture) and some diffuse glow and gaussian blur (in the case of The Arse picture from way back in November) seem to be incredibly popular. On a normal day, my PaD image pulls in about 90-100 views, yesterday's is already over 300 and counting. So just admit it... you like seeing my semi-naked bits. Just wait until I go on holiday, and you see the pictures of me at the beach!!!! Pbase had better order in the new servers now!

I'm only just learning how to work my D70 (who needs instruction manuals?), and it took me some time to figure out how to set the timer - I should have done that before I took all my clothes off in preparation for the shot! By the time I managed to master it, I was blue with the cold (Linda always switches the central heating off when she leaves the house - and I always forget to switch it back on). It took me many, many attempts to get the shot - not for me those new fangled automatic lenses... no, I was using my brand new (to me anyway) manual focus 50mm lens that had just arrived in the post that morning. So anyway, I've discovered the trick with manual lenses is just to keep taking shots until you get one that works, then save that setting for the real shot. Fifteen minutes later (and still naked), I managed to figure out how to get the camera to focus on something that wasn't yet there (I put the stepladder where I was to be standing, and focused on that). Then the real fun began, and I had to press the shutter release and then move into position in the allocated ten seconds - easier said than done when you have severe sciatic pain like I told the DWP I have.

I phoned Tesco Direct and complained that the tumble dryer hadn't arrived and no-one had phoned to say why or when I ought to expect it. The poor girl at the other end was very sympathetic when I told her that the email I received told me that the dryer would be here 11 days after it was ordered, and that Tesco's arrangements with local delivery firms were no concern of mine, and that 11 days after the 18th is the 29th, and that they had known for some time that it was going to be the Easter weekend (everywhere but Dundee). 'Are you sure it didn't say 11 working days?', she asked ever so politely. 'No', I insisted, 'it said "Delivery will take 11 days*".' Underneath, in the not very small print (it was an email afterall), it said '*exluding weekends and bank holidays'. Ooops! Nevertheless, it worked. The dryer arrived within three hours, and is now happily burning up the earth's natural resources in order to make sure that our clothes are clean, dry, easier to iron and smell nice.

Thought I would give the wig a trim... but it was just too fast for me - like trying to catch a cat. Damned sciatica. I can wait though!


Anonymous Harpreet said...

This was funny. the expressions and the placing of the wig is excellent.

1:55 pm  
Blogger Lusobrandane said...

Thank you, Harpreet. I just had a look at your photoblog. You have some stunning images there.

4:56 pm  
Blogger Vivienne said...

Hello Lusobrandane, I would like to invite you to take a look at my wonderful, character north wales property for sale offer. This large and beautiful north wales property for sale is on offer at over £30,000 below the value of such properties in the area because a super quick sale is desired.
This is a great Just a little trim blog that you have here, keep it up.

7:13 am  
Blogger Vivienne said...

Hello Lusobrandane, I would like to invite you to take a look at my beautiful, spacious, character welsh property for sale website. This my fantastic welsh property for sale is on offer at over £30,000 below the surveyors recommended sale price because a super quick sale is desired.
This is a great Just a little trim blog that you have here, keep it up.

3:22 am  
Blogger Vivienne said...

Hello Lusobrandane, how would you like to buy a beautiful, spacious, character north wales property for sale at a fantastic knock down price. A quick sale is desired hence this north wales property for sale offer website. It's amazing, read all the details here http://www.north-wales-property-offer.co.uk. Just a little trim blog that you have here is great, don’t stop.

3:54 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home